Today is the last day. The last day of feeling hungry (for at least a while). The last day I can drink 16 ounces of water in 3 gulps. The last day I technically can eat anything (technically that isn’t true – I’m on a liquid diet since yesterday morning). But it’s my last day with a normal stomach and intestines.
I’m nervous. I’m nervous about the actual surgery. I’m nervous about the recovery. I’m nervous I may not be able to stick with the diet. I’m nervous the surgery will not actually work – that I’ll be hungry and that my stomach won’t actually feel smaller and I’ll be able to eat whatever I want still. I’m nervous that I’ll miss food all the time. I’m nervous that I’ll be sick all the time. I’m nervous that there will be complications. I’m nervous I won’t lose any weight.
There are so many things running through my brain. It’s hard to sit still and relax. I did a major cleaning of the kitchen yesterday. Scrubbed down all the cabinets and the floors. And now my right arm is in excruciating pain. So I’m sidelined from doing a lot more cleaning. Cleaning was keeping my mind off everything.
Right now I’m waiting for the magnesium citrate I took to work it’s way through the my stomach and my intestines so it’ll clean me out for surgery.
Surgery is at 10am tomorrow. Ready for tomorrow. Well at least as ready as I can be.